you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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