He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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