I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
