you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
