My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
