I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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