I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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