I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
