A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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