guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
