my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
