They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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