I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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