i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Come see our sink grown plant.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize