Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
