I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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