everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize