i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
