i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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