Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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