so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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