just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
