Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
