4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
