my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize