I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
