Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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