i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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