I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
