why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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