I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
