i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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