This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
