That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
