is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize