my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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