break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
where are my eyebrows?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
