i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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