Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was confusing and full of hummus
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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