did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
