This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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