my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
