I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
