I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
