Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
