You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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