Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
