Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
