I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
A bitchslap is in order.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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