you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The uberlube is also flammable
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
