I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
