Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
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