Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
