Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
