some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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