Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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