omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
