I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
