He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
