im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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