Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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