she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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