dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
