Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
